Swimming? Uh..hmm..as long as the pool’s heated!

The weekend was spent trying to decide on a do-able, interesting and inexpensive  spring class at the BU gym. Reason being the fact that membership subsidizes class fees and a pre-determined schedule facilitates more regular attendance at the gym. (Well, the class is merely once every week, but my gym-visit average for the past month has been dismal enough to desire even this level of regularity!). The choice for the longest time was between rock-climbing 101 and swimming 101- latter won one account of being a more essential [potentially life-saving :)] skill in my mind. The fact that the classes are on Sunday & pool waters are maintained at a balmy 86F sealed the deal. The first class yesterday was really good fun! The instructors were very helpful—the kind who have the knack of winning people’s trust, particularly helpful  in situations when they ask you to lie on your back & let go of your head under water. I must say the first time I did that and water invaded my nose and throat, prospects of making much headway started to look dismal. Yet a few helpful tips later, and realizing that everyone in swimming 101 was in the same boat boosted my confidence. And oh la la—45 minutes later I had learnt how to submerge my head under water for a few seconds without getting all choked up, float on my back AND stomach, and most importantly had managed to bypass my shyness in wearing a one-piece swimsuit! :)

2010, Home Alone, Netflix, BPL and my SewMac..

Yep! a decade of the new millennium is already over (where did it go!) Well, come to think of it-- college, more college, Abhi, marriage & work—it was actually quite an eventful decade :)..How on earth did I get so reflective on the whole decade though—as I began the post, I intended to merely acknowledge our foray into 2010. CNN was having an inane poll today btw about whether most people will refer to this year as “twenty-ten” or “two-thousand and ten” and the resounding verdict was in favor of the latter (much to the dismay of the anchors who thought the former was more trendy!). I am always amazed at who comes up with these gazillion polls and who responds to these things. Abhi has actually put me down a guilt trip about this in the past---well no, not TV/internet polls, but my total non-commitment towards writing product reviews on websites, especially cause I base my decision to buy-or-not after reading gazillion reviews myself. He thinks it is absolutely necessary for the sustenance of the system for customers like me to contribute---he’s probably not wrong..I’m just really lazy about the whole thing, besides there seem to a whole lot of other interested folks to pen reviews :)

It is so easy to go off on a tangent with blogging..especially when you write a post (like me) after a break of 3 months..nonetheless, steering back, the past week has been an interesting experience of living alone at home and watching waaaay more TV than I would ever have had the time if Abhi was around. Part of it is that I like to have some noise in the house, although the bigger reason is, my rather late discovery of Netflix Instant Play and the fact that they have a reasonably good collection, including many new/old foreign movies. So, post-discovery I have already watched 8 movies in 3 days…infact my eyes were watery last night at 2 am after all the viewing, yet I gave in to the urge of another one – OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit with the watery part..but aleast they were all droopy :)..So the first movie I watched was the Ken Burns documentary on Frank Lloyd Wright—I had just finished the book ‘Loving Frank’ about FLW’s illicit affair with a married woman Mamah Cheney in the early 1900’s and was aching to piece that part in his larger life story and also ogle at historic photos & footage. The movie did just that. In retrospect though I have had enough of FLW for quite a while. The second was a documentary, Blindsight-about a mountaineering expedition in the Himalayas with 6 blind kids from Tibet. The movie was a bit heavy, yet well made and unique. Following that was a forgettable 1996 romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston—when you watch so many movies there are bound to be some unfortunate choices! Moving on though, ‘Wake up Sid’ was a delightful Hindi film that I had somehow missed watching when released last year. It’s fresh, contemporary and remains interesting throughout. Next, I watched ‘Outsourced’ – an Indo-Hollywood film in English about an American who is sent to a small Indian town to train call center employees—I was quite sure that I wouldn’t like the movie before I started watching, thinking it would be stereotypical & kitschy. And yes it was all that in parts-yet rather funny and very entertaining! Following that was the 2008 documentary Food Inc. about the corporatization of the whole food industry in the US. The movie was well-made but didn’t exactly hit me as it would have, had I watched the movie a few years earlier-- back in the day when I had never read a label on a food product before, and honestly didn’t even know/care how to interpret that info even if I did. Since coming to the US though, my approach towards food has changed..I no longer just buy stuff I like off the shelf and consume it gluttonously placing my trust in my genetically slender bodyframe (or atleast so I like to believe!) Not that I’m worried about gaining weight now, but am definitely concerned about dumping preservatives in my body just cause that food has to have a certain shelf-life. Make as much food from raw materials as you can, and buy right to make sure the ‘raw’ materials are truly raw, seems like the sensible thing to do—yet is easier said than done especially when you have limited time and budget. Yet, no harm trying! ‘Whats Your Rashee?’ was a painfully long hindi movie, funny in parts but tiresome overall. Next up was ‘Welcome to Sajjanpur’ a Shyam Benegal creation that I watched this morning- and what a delightful movie it is! Refreshing and original, with excellent acting, music and dialogues, the movie is satirical yet light – a must-watch! The invention of the HDMI cable and the fact that it allows all these movies to be viewed on my wide-screen TV makes life all the better—bless the people who invent this stuff!

In between the movies though, books from the Boston Public Library have kept me company at bedtime, on the WC and on the T. The Public Library system is one of those things that I absolutely love about US cities..and BPL is supposedly the grand-daddy of them all, being the first public library in the US. It’s central branch is right next to my office and although it is quite difficult to find recent bestsellers, there is still a huge collection of books to choose from. I am also thankful to my SewMac (my 70-stitch ‘computerised’ sewing machine) for being there in times like these. Actually since Abhi doesn’t let me spend too much time on it while he’s around, this is probably the best opportunity to churn out the duvet-set and lunch-bags that I have been meaning to complete in ages!

So much for now..

I salute the light within you..

It is strange that I had never really wondered before what NAMASTE literally meant. I mean I knew it meant something that implied the act of bowing in Sanskrit. But wouldn’t have been able to dissect the word down to its roots and elaborate what its literate meaning was. So today when I heard the rendition in the blog title (in a yoga CD of all places!) it got me thinking.. Its pretty neat isn’t it? ‘I salute the light within you!’ ….Seems like a lot to say in a single, short greeting, yet quite remarkable! Its derived from the Sanskrit namas (bow) and te (to you). More accurately though, the implied meaning of the term is - "I respect that divinity within you that is also within me". Of all the countless times that I have spoken this word and greeted family, friends, acquaintances and strangers, I never appreciated its entire breadth. The act of pressing your palms together and bringing them close to the chest that accompanies the vocal address is a pose called ‘anjali mudra’. The symbolism behind the pose is that one hand represents the divine, spiritual self, while the other represents the worldly self. By combining the two, the person making the gesture is attempting to rise above his differences with others, and connect himself with the person to whom he bows. I am not sure if the meaning of the term will really come to my mind the next time I use the salutation—I will probably parrot it out of habit as I have been doing for so many years..Yet I at least know what it implies now and will hopefully try to make it mean more on some occasions!!

Part III: A sense of calm..

Day 21: It was the longest run of our training yet-- 20 miles! I could still feel pain at the back of my knee while walking, hence running was not an option. It was a big day for Abhi though! So I decided to accompany him and bike my way along on the Minuteman Trail while he completed his 20-mile run. It is interesting that although walking was painful, biking actually felt quite good since it does not involve the same muscles and repetitive impact. It was great to cheer Abhi and the other runners and I was able to get some cardiovascular exercise too in the bargain! Getting out actually felt better than staying home. At the same time it was difficult to sit out yet another run. Typically a few weeks before any marathon, athletes enter what is called a ‘taper period’. That means you do shorter runs at an easy effort with the intent of not over-exerting your body and resting it to be strong for race day.  So in a couple of weeks, our group was about to begin this period—this meant that peak training time was NOW … or never. Everybody in our group was sorry to hear about my injury and hopeful that I recuperate soon.

Meanwhile, as a last ditch effort, our coach recommended another physical therapist. I decided to give it a shot. So on Day 25, I was at his office bright and early at 7 a.m. I was very apprehensive – after having visited a couple of doctors and PT’s in the past few weeks, there was a weird sense of deja vu and a fear of getting lost in circles again. To my pleasant surprise though, things turned out quite differently! After some quick questions and evaluation, the therapist was very confidently able to diagnose that my problem seemed to be ‘popliteus tendonitis’ – an inflammation in the popliteus tendon that runs at the back of the knee. The symptoms he described for the condition fit in quite well with my own and I was relieved that finally there seemed to be a definitive diagnosis. Now, the important question was recovery and time-frame. He said we could be ‘cautiously optimistic’ about running. But first it was important to treat the injury—that meant no running and only simple exercises that he prescribed. To speed up the healing he affixed a patch filled with anti-inflammatory medication that uses a micro electric current to "drive" charged molecules through the skin and into the tissues. As I have now learned the process is better known as ‘iontophoresis’ and is a common therapy tool. I felt really good that day—it was as if the pain had absolutely disappeared!! However, as the effect of the medication wore on, the pain was back by evening – though lesser in intensity! This was a promising sign.

It’s now been 2 days since then. I have to meet the therapist for sessions throughout next week. I am still not sure how my knee will feel once I start running – though I want to be optimistic! These past weeks have been chaotic—I have realized how frustrating it can be to not be able to do something that you thought you almost did. I have also been humbled by the sheer reality of circumstances that present themselves, and the importance of finding a silver lining in bleak times. Through the well-wishes of family and friends I have found the ability to remain positive. I will still try to train for the full marathon (if time allows), will aim for the half-marathon if that doesn’t work out, and will try my best to raise funds for AID and ASHA even if I can’t run. It is because I have realized in this process that it is not simply about running – it is about finishing what I started – about making this journey worthwhile. If by something I can do-- like running or reaching out to my friends and colleagues-- I can help two hard-working organizations find solutions to some of India’s overwhelming problems, it is totally worth the effort. So if you are reading this, please visit my fundraising page for TEAM AID-ASHA at http://2009.teamaidasha.org/Runner.aspx?Num=20088826 and donate any amount that suits you. Your donation will be so important in bringing about grassroots change in India  – and the gesture will raise my spirits to heal fast and run hard!

Part II: In the Doldrums….

A week into the injury, I was getting really worried so visited the massage therapist I’d seen in the past- unfortunately, the therapy didn’t seem to have the same miraculous effects as before. I tried running the next day and couldn’t even get past the block – limped my way back home and tried to convince myself that I had to be patient and rest it out.  Time was running out though. The upcoming weekend was the 18 mile run, and to keep up with the schedule, I had to heal fast. On Day 9 I tried a 2-mile run and walked almost half of it, tried another 3-miles on Day 11 & tried to run most of it. It was painful all the way and my knee had swollen up by the time I got home. I was getting rather stressed by this point.  More than the physical pain, the injury was gnawing at my mental peace. I was irritable and confused –dug up a dizzying amount of (often conflicting) information on the net about running injuries, hoping to find a miracle stretch.

Meanwhile it was also high time in our program to begin fundraising – which really is the bigger purpose behind running at all. For me that is what makes this program so special –the fact that you undertake a challenging personal task and use it to create awareness about a larger cause. The relationship was so symbiotic  in my mind that the inability to run any more, made it very difficult to initiate the fundraising effort.  Still defiant to run I showed up for the 18-mile weekend run on Day 14. I somehow completed a painful 7 miles and by the end was certain that I needed intervention. Looked up a sports therapy place close by and went in for an evaluation on Day 16. There began my journey down the road of endless calls to my PCP (who was on vacation), her assistant, the specialist’s office and an overwhelming exasperation with the needlessly complex way healthcare works here! As if I was not already drained by the effort, the new therapist recommended that I see an orthopedist to rule out any bone injuries! I must confess that by this time I had reached the brink of my patience and good humor. It felt as if I was just going round in circles. The therapist was unable to provide a definitive diagnosis and asked me to lay off running for a while. Having lost more than 2 weeks of training time in an already tight schedule was not doing wonders for my faith in being ready and able to run the marathon. Besides the knee and shin were not feeling better either.. there was persistent pain and swelling that would go away and reappear. Nonetheless an appointment with the orthopedist was made – and I continued to try shorter runs without much success.

 

Day 20: The orthopedist ruled out a fracture (again!!) or compartment syndrome (that my therapist somehow thought I might have) and asked me to forget about running this year. His diagnosis was that due to multiple and persistent piling of small injuries after each run, my left leg had inflamed to a point that I simply needed to let it heal completely. Running would commence only in small increments and with the marathon creeping up so soon there just wasn’t enough time. The drive back from his clinic was a sad one—I had till now been harboring hope against all odds that I could still run the marathon. In the ensuing two days it finally dawned upon me that I might not realistically be able to accomplish the goal towards which I had been training for the past few months. It was definitely disappointing. After a day of brooding and during yet another bout of Abhi trying to lift my spirits, we got talking about aiming for a half-marathon if not the full this year. This would also allow me to canvass for the charities and be able to raise funds. It being the last day for registering for the Lowell Half-Marathon, I went ahead and reserved my spot. However, as I limped about our one-bed apartment from one room to the next, how I was going to be able to run the 13.1 miles seemed very dubious.

Part I: The 17-miler!… and the Aftermath

The past 4 weeks have been a mixed bag of emotions  – there have been moments of elation and those of disappointment, of inspiration and renewed resolve, yet more setbacks and confusion, and finally efforts to find some peace. Since an elaboration was turning this post into an epic in terms of length, I have split it in 3 parts..I apologize for the verbosity – regard them as the ranting of a beleaguered wannabe runner.

Starting where I left off, August 8 was a high point – I completed my 17-mile run..yippee!! And was hoping it was going to signal a comeback of sorts after my previous bout of shin pains. It was also a great mental motivator..17 just seems closer to 20 – and although the number seemed quite intimidating before the run, I had decided that I needed to overcome it if I was going to be running the full 26.2 miles…Fortunately, things seem to fall in place that particular sunny Saturday morning – I ran at my pace, and after a couple of miles of discomfort in my shins, felt pretty strong throughout the rest of the run – and of course the smile strategy helped too I believe ;)    I was able to appreciate just how challenging it is to run long distances..to be engaged in a back and forth dialogue between your mind and body, fend off the temptation to stop and be fueled by the desire to get to the finish. As I came running in towards the finish line, Abhi was already there with camera in tow so thankfully there are some pics for memory’s sake! I could never ever imagine that I could run 17 miles..and here I was, both humbled by the effort and yet proud of the accomplishment.

And then there was the AFTERMATH-yep, as great as I felt immediately after the run, the story was a little different as the day wore on..by the time we got home my legs started feeling more and more sore. By afternoon, I was hobbling around the house with a piercing pain in my left knee and calves—and by evening the pain became so unbearable that I could put absolutely no bodyweight on that leg…which meant that Abhi had to literally carry me from one room to the next. Hmmm…this was not looking good at all—we were both scared that that I might have developed the dreaded ‘stress fracture’ and we did not even want to contemplate what that would mean for running the marathon. Anyways, long story short, I called up the emergency dept. and fixed an appointment for the next day.

The doctor knocked and pressed at several spots on my leg and was able to discern that there didn’t seem to be a fracture—so that was a good news!!..Yet, he cautioned against putting any weight on the leg and gave me crutches to use for a few days!! Imagine that—running 17 miles one day—feeling all fit and healthy and being in crutches 24 hours later! I was quite demoralized to say the least and anxious to get back on my feet asap. Took the Monday off from work, downed a few ipubrufens, iced, elevated—followed the whole shebang and the pain seemed to be getting better, if only slightly so. Limped my way to office the next day – it was pretty clear that I was going to have to sit out on the upcoming weekend run. Infact by Saturday- Day 7, I was still limping and running seemed quite incomprehensible.

 

Smile..and add a mile!

One would think that after having run double-digit miles on past occasions, running anything from 4-8 miles should pretty much seem like a cakewalk..Unfortunately not to a beginner runner like me :( ..The human body has its own peculiar way of adapting to physical stress and regrettably not much of it follows a linear course..rather my stint with the marathon more closely resembles a sound wave of sorts! with its very own crests and troughs. The past week was what one would categorize a TROUGH – I was unable to run a whole lot due to immense stiffness in my calves and as a result ended up missing my 16-mile long weekend run. Laden with guilt as Abhishek went ahead for the run on Saturday morning, I tended to my stiff muscles by a getting a rejuvenating sports massage at the Boston Bodyworker (not bad actually:)).

By Sunday, the guilt had accrued enough to convince me to try 15 miles on my own. Yet, it was not to be – after 8 miles my legs just refused to go any further—on all these occasions when you don’t end up running as much as you had set out to, it’s really tough to pinpoint whether it was our body or your heart/mind that gave out first. I tend to believe that it’s the latter. In fact, it was interesting when Abhi remarked that throughout the run, I looked really stressed and unhappy – part of it was the stiffness in my legs , though a larger share I think was my heart not being vested enough in running that day. By that evening I was beginning to feel that I had hit a roadblock – I was probably getting scared of all the pain and fatigue that I knew was going to be part of all long runs and that had begun to affect my overall training.

After a day of strength training and rest, I got out again for a 8-mile run this past Wednesday on a hot and humid evening - the first couple of miles were again the toughest. The range of emotions one encounters (or at least I do!) during a long run is quite amazing! At the beginning the mind is filled with resolve and determination, yet my body just doesn't want to be shaken out of its dormancy into feet-pounding action! It's almost as though your mind has to fight against this resistance and somehow make it through the first few miles. The temptation to stop or alter your pre-decided mileage for the day is incredibly strong. Anyways, so on Wednesday, 20-30 minutes into the run my legs began to feel more flexible..yet, one by one as the bridges on River Charles came by, I was presented with more and more opportunities to call it a day. Somehow I kept going....perhaps it is importance of tasting failure, be humbled and filled with renewed determination that was at play. I had to do the 8 miles despite the initial pain to know that I was still in the running! I had to make myself re-believe that although I had missed a long-run training day, I COULD come back and do the 17-miles the coming weekend. These and a lot of other things went through my mind. It is remarkable how much time you have to think once you run long-distances (and especially at my pace, trust me, the time is stretched out even more ;)).

I finished the run in slightly better time than my usual pace and biked back from work - with my legs feeling great!! In retrospect, I believe what made the biggest difference that day was my promise to myself that hereafter I was going to ENJOY my marathon training..that I was going to SMILE without rhyme or reason whenever the slightest inkling of pain or fatigue dawned over..I didn't want to frown and feel miserable throughout my runs...I wanted to be happy and proud of the fact that I am training for the marathon, happy to be outdoors and go places in Boston that I had never before traversed on foot. And that was exactly what I did -I acknowledged fellow runners and pedestrians with smiles, some bothered to respond, some simply thought I was crazy, and at times I just smiled to myself. At times I completely forgot about the smiling bit and the heat and miles got to me--yet, thankfully these spells were momentary and the most amazing thing was how effectively the smiling trick acted as an analgesic....

I am sure many others have talked and theorized about how smiling affects any demanding exercise..how it releases the right enzymes or whatever. And of course the now ubiquitous laughing clubs in India seem to have capitalized on the phenomenon to the tee. Nonetheless, it was great to experience it first hand! Having a positive attitude towards whatever you do certainly makes a difference and I am often reminded of Mark Twain's 'Tom Whitewashes a Fence' that I read back in school..So for any beginner runners (or not) out there who might be feeling a little down...do give this a try!

More in the next post about how the 17 mile run panned out and whether the 'smile and add a mile' trick worked a second time round :)