By Sunday, the guilt had accrued enough to convince me to try 15 miles on my own. Yet, it was not to be – after 8 miles my legs just refused to go any further—on all these occasions when you don’t end up running as much as you had set out to, it’s really tough to pinpoint whether it was our body or your heart/mind that gave out first. I tend to believe that it’s the latter. In fact, it was interesting when Abhi remarked that throughout the run, I looked really stressed and unhappy – part of it was the stiffness in my legs , though a larger share I think was my heart not being vested enough in running that day. By that evening I was beginning to feel that I had hit a roadblock – I was probably getting scared of all the pain and fatigue that I knew was going to be part of all long runs and that had begun to affect my overall training.
After a day of strength training and rest, I got out again for a 8-mile run this past Wednesday on a hot and humid evening - the first couple of miles were again the toughest. The range of emotions one encounters (or at least I do!) during a long run is quite amazing! At the beginning the mind is filled with resolve and determination, yet my body just doesn't want to be shaken out of its dormancy into feet-pounding action! It's almost as though your mind has to fight against this resistance and somehow make it through the first few miles. The temptation to stop or alter your pre-decided mileage for the day is incredibly strong. Anyways, so on Wednesday, 20-30 minutes into the run my legs began to feel more flexible..yet, one by one as the bridges on River Charles came by, I was presented with more and more opportunities to call it a day. Somehow I kept going....perhaps it is importance of tasting failure, be humbled and filled with renewed determination that was at play. I had to do the 8 miles despite the initial pain to know that I was still in the running! I had to make myself re-believe that although I had missed a long-run training day, I COULD come back and do the 17-miles the coming weekend. These and a lot of other things went through my mind. It is remarkable how much time you have to think once you run long-distances (and especially at my pace, trust me, the time is stretched out even more ;)).
I finished the run in slightly better time than my usual pace and biked back from work - with my legs feeling great!! In retrospect, I believe what made the biggest difference that day was my promise to myself that hereafter I was going to ENJOY my marathon training..that I was going to SMILE without rhyme or reason whenever the slightest inkling of pain or fatigue dawned over..I didn't want to frown and feel miserable throughout my runs...I wanted to be happy and proud of the fact that I am training for the marathon, happy to be outdoors and go places in Boston that I had never before traversed on foot. And that was exactly what I did -I acknowledged fellow runners and pedestrians with smiles, some bothered to respond, some simply thought I was crazy, and at times I just smiled to myself. At times I completely forgot about the smiling bit and the heat and miles got to me--yet, thankfully these spells were momentary and the most amazing thing was how effectively the smiling trick acted as an analgesic....
I am sure many others have talked and theorized about how smiling affects any demanding exercise..how it releases the right enzymes or whatever. And of course the now ubiquitous laughing clubs in India seem to have capitalized on the phenomenon to the tee. Nonetheless, it was great to experience it first hand! Having a positive attitude towards whatever you do certainly makes a difference and I am often reminded of Mark Twain's 'Tom Whitewashes a Fence' that I read back in school..So for any beginner runners (or not) out there who might be feeling a little down...do give this a try!
More in the next post about how the 17 mile run panned out and whether the 'smile and add a mile' trick worked a second time round :)